The Indoor Picture Show

When the ranch hand was knee high to a Shetland, "going to the picture show" referred to the drive-in theatre in Turnertown.

We would go in the pickup, back it into a space, and Mom/Dad would sit in chairs in the bed of the truck while us young'uns would park wherever. Mom would bring a brown paper sack of home made popcorn and life was good.

Another, more rare, movie experience was available in Overton (the "indoor" picture show").

The Overton Theater opened in July 1938 and continued operation until 1965. For the price of a quarter, a Wright City farm boy could ease into a dark place of air conditioned comfort, sit in fancy cloth covered seats (with years of chewing gum plastered on the seat bottoms), and get lost in the adventures of Hollywood heroes.

Never mind that no one had money for refreshments from the snack bar (although we knew someone bought "cokes" because the floor was so sticky?).

Never mind that ya missed half the show when it was "scary" (The Blob, The Incredible Shrinking Man, etc.) due to having one's eyes closed. It was pure magic.

Scroll forward to modern times and the ole fat boy and his beautiful child bride decided to saunter to "town" to enjoy yet another "indoor picture show".

Smug with confidence and sufficient finances, the would-be film star splurged on two "cokes" for nostalgic pleasure. Hauled them puppies to our plush reclining ergonomic seats and settled in with our fellow viewers to wait for the "magic" to begin.

The lights dimmed, the theater became hushed, and the sophisticated cinema fan promptly dumped the entire contents of his ICE COLD drink into his lap.

Now imagine the difficulty of maintaining one's dignity while jumping up and down between rows of seats in a crowded theater while furiously slapping and brushing at one's "nether regions" and yelling, "SH*T", in high decibels.

Further imagine the look of confusion mixed with consternation on the face of the adjacent bride (not to mention the fellow theatre patrons).

Maybe the Lord was just taking care of that young farm boy in Overton by withholding the "cokes" to spare the fragile innocence of his youth?