Saturday, May 29, 2010

HAMBURGERS

Consider, if you will, the lowly hamburger.

Simple in presentation, abundant in flavor-lish-ish-ness, yet pungent in its oniony presentation (no pickles please).

No pretension of savoir faire, no well intended advertisement (Eat More Chiken), no meaning to be beyond its intended ground beef demise.

Not unlike chile, this ubiquitous morsel mouthful is all that is to be to the masses, somewhat lacking to the uneducated, and the "manna" from heaven for the tyrols.

Aw, that we could (absent cholesterol considerations) forever have that canola oil delicacy "dripping" from our porcelain elbows ad infinitum.

Such is life.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Tree Lament

Oak wilt is a fungal disease that can quickly kill a Texas live oak tree by blocking the capillary flow of sap within the tree.

The landscape of Williamson county is sadly becoming a skeletal graveyard of magnificent oaks that this pernicious attack has devastated.

The Tin Star has largely escaped this scourge....until now.

The ole ranch hand is watching with a heavy heart as the damn arboreal illness is creeping on it's deathly paws with killing talons from tree to tree. The eulogy count is near ten and will no doubt over the years take away all of the gorgeous leafy companions that we so enjoy?

The spanish oaks and the cedar elms are in sufficient numbers to continue the shading effect, but once gone, the oaks will not be replaced in our lifetime.

Thank you, oh Lord, for the present grace and comfort of our resident live oaks. Your's is a grander plan than we might imagine in eliminating these trees, but we acknowledge and hold faith in your wisdom.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

TURTLE WARS

Worship of worldly possessions is likely a sin...but bein' tickled bout a utility vehicle shouldn't be too far down the road to eternal damnation???

The ole fat boy acquired a ranch "buggy" recently. Two seater-six passenger, sun shade atop the frame, four wheelin' deelux, an plum RURAL in its presentation.

Does the ranch hand use it???? (does a fat dawg fart??)....well fer example...today yours truly loaded the venerable 2-2 semi automatical rifillian with (not sofa pillers), equipped the "all terrain, weather impervious chariot with (adult beverages) and stealthily (spun the damn tires and whup/whipped betwixt the trees and bushes) down to the piscatorial procreation facility (pond) to control (shoot the shit out of) the eleventy-seven turtles therein whut has been scalin/filetin'/humpin' the recently purchased ($0.95 each) baby hybrid (soon to be RECORD BREAKING!) fish (if not consumed by the voracious prehistoric predators)?

Forthwith (what the hell that word mean???) the GREAT WHITE HUNTER (while suckin' on a cold adult beverage) commenced to prodigiously bust caps on them murderous semi-aquatic hubcap reptillian turtle bastardians!

Did not hit shinola, but the new "buggy" did not sit in judgement, comment, or offer an expression of disdain in any discernible form???

"Did not sit in judgement" would be a bit of a stretch for the ranch hand's child bride who wuz never overtook with bashfulness?

Onliest thang to do is brang mo' ammo and spray a better pattern on them murderous fish baby thieves (bride says less beer, but what do wimmen know??)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Baby Sisters

Ain't nobody got but one baby sister.

They is one to a customer, singular, unique, and mostly just special.

When you are a yonker and they are...well a baby sister...ya pick on them, aggravate, or just ignore like they was a "bother".

When ya spend the years finding they are among your bestest friends, a joy to be with, and the nearest thing to an angel on earth imaginable.........well, then maybe the "ignore" part becomes a bit embarassing....so ya just spend the rest of your life making up for it?

The ranch hand's baby sister is a PEACH.....sweet, loving, beautiful, and just near bout sumpthin as special as ever was!!!!!!!!!

That gal had a B-day this week and she was ?? years young (how did that happen given my youthful existence????)

Just know, little one, that you are valued more than you can ever know by one old fat man who you call "big brother".