Fido's Ass

Dad was always completely plain spoken. Unless he used one of his personal made up words, you never had to doubt what he was thinking.

If Dad thought someone was on the south side of ugly, he would simply say they looked like "Fido's Ass"?

Related to this priceless tidbit of knowledge, living in the country often means folks "donate" their unwanted dogs to you (without asking). The unsuspecting soul will look up and suddenly be the "owner" of a mystery mutt. Not a registered, pure bred, intelligent, or noble animal. More like one that looks like "Fido's Ass".

Since moving to the country, the ranch hand has inherited and disposed of three such varmits. The fourth recently landed and has been undergoing evaluation. He (male, not a puppy factory) doesn't bark (or make any other noise except an occasional low pitched whine). It does not appear to be aggressive in any way. Mostly, it seems determined to stay.

After the ranch hand confessed to "sneaking" the boarder a slice or two of fried bacon, the bride confessed to earlier slipping it some deer sausage. Next thing ya know, the little woman done picked out a "feed" bowl, acquired some high dollar store bought canine groceries, and plunked a large beach towel in corner of the yard where the north wind is blocked by the house.

Guess there wasn't much left for the ranch hand to do but name the sucka.

Please welcome Fido as the newest member of the ranch family.