CHICK FLICKS

The ranch hand's bride absolutely LOVES going to the moving picture shows. The ranch hand mostly don't because:

1. The beautiful child bride chooses "chick flicks" almost exclusively.
2. The ranch hand's bladder will no longer endure an entire feature film without relief.
3. The price of the theater groceries would make my Wright City dad swaller his chaw.
4. The "dark" in there makes negotiating the stairs a "trip" (remember the bladder?).
5. The best part is when it is over.

Of course they is advantages:

1. I gets to sit by the most beautiful woman in the world and hold her hand.
2. The bladder thing gives me the excuse to walk around in the lobby a couple times per show.
3. I can eat two gallons of butter soaked pop corn and nobody seems to care.
4. It is so dark nobody can see the ole fat boy "fidgeting".
5. The best part is when it is over.

The bottom line: Going to movies with the wife is a romantic dating ritual that I hope never ends!