TURTLE WARS

Worship of worldly possessions is likely a sin...but bein' tickled bout a utility vehicle shouldn't be too far down the road to eternal damnation???

The ole fat boy acquired a ranch "buggy" recently. Two seater-six passenger, sun shade atop the frame, four wheelin' deelux, an plum RURAL in its presentation.

Does the ranch hand use it???? (does a fat dawg fart??)....well fer example...today yours truly loaded the venerable 2-2 semi automatical rifillian with (not sofa pillers), equipped the "all terrain, weather impervious chariot with (adult beverages) and stealthily (spun the damn tires and whup/whipped betwixt the trees and bushes) down to the piscatorial procreation facility (pond) to control (shoot the shit out of) the eleventy-seven turtles therein whut has been scalin/filetin'/humpin' the recently purchased ($0.95 each) baby hybrid (soon to be RECORD BREAKING!) fish (if not consumed by the voracious prehistoric predators)?

Forthwith (what the hell that word mean???) the GREAT WHITE HUNTER (while suckin' on a cold adult beverage) commenced to prodigiously bust caps on them murderous semi-aquatic hubcap reptillian turtle bastardians!

Did not hit shinola, but the new "buggy" did not sit in judgement, comment, or offer an expression of disdain in any discernible form???

"Did not sit in judgement" would be a bit of a stretch for the ranch hand's child bride who wuz never overtook with bashfulness?

Onliest thang to do is brang mo' ammo and spray a better pattern on them murderous fish baby thieves (bride says less beer, but what do wimmen know??)