Vacation Fun

The ranch hand and his beautiful bride recently inaugurated international travel across the "pond".

It didn't figger to be no step for a tall dawg...just book the flights and hotels, join a tour group, and see the sights of Espana.

Jumped out of the rack friday last, took a leisurely hour's drive to the airport...eased thru airport security (four times due to continuously setting off the metal detector)while eagerly anticipating the coming adventure.

No problem to Dallas/Ft Worth (except forgot a pair of $525 prescription sunglasses at the Austin security station after finally getting clearance to enter???)

The connecting flight to Madrid was 1 1/2 hours late coming in....no problem as had a couple of hours layover in Madrid to catch the next leg.

Ten l-o-n-g hours to Madrid followed by more sitting on the tarmac near the terminal (the locals acted surprised to see a plane and didn't know what to do with it??). The pilot guy finally announced the Spaniards had decided they would bring stairs to the plane and load us on a bus. More sitting on the tarmac.....finally the jet jockey announced they had decided to tow the plane up to a jetway for off-loading....all well and good....but the clock was ticking on the next flight.

Eventually got in the Madrid airport and ask the first airline employee encountered concerning how to get to the next flight gate. NO ENGLISH SPOKEN HERE.

Stirred around a bit until ended up in Spanish Customs...stood in a long line, got asked some questions in Spanish that was not understood and was turned loose to ?????

Outside customs the ole fat boy ran slap dab into a subway system to take us to ?????...finally just got on the first door that opened and exited the next time it stopped (finely tuned woodsman training no doubt?)...went thru a maze of stairways/hallways and found a board announcing the gate location of flights....RAN like gazelles (a chubby guy in his dotage) to the distant gate only to see the plane being pushed back for it's flight.

Immediately asked the non-English speaking airline employee how to book the next flight and was pointed to the opposite end of the terminal for (execution, help, the trip home???). Started walking and found a long line at a counter that appeared to be "customer service". Stood in said line for one hour while the "customer service" reps and the "customers" YELLED at each other in spanish like a mass murder was about to occur.

Finally got up to the counter (after an hour of sincere prayer for a miracle) and found an airline employer who spoke just enough English to tell us we were screwed. The next two flights were booked full. Begged, pleaded, did that sad puppy dawg eyes crap and the agent agreed to put us on stand-by for the flight that was scheduled to leave TWELVE HOURS LATER...bottom line....God heard our prayers and we got on that plane to Sevilla (after some idjit stole our carry-on bag with our prescription meds, digital camera, and other "stuff").

Arrived in Sevilla on Sunday morning, 38 hours after getting up Friday morning. No sleep, little food (the rotten/sticky "ham" sandwich in airport smelled like a skunk....and there is not one American beer in all of Spain?). Was totally conflicted between being pissed off and being glad to be alive at our chosen destination.

Then came the most terrifying taxi ride in the history of modern man (with the bride hollering, "Muy poco, muy poco"...that don't mean "slow down" but her voice inflection was pretty plain...Yet the cab driver did not "poco down")

Three days in Sevilla was awesome...incredible architecture, beautiful culture, interesting foods, flamenco dancing, NO ENGLISH SPOKEN.

Sprang from the bed Wednesday morn and took another thrilling taxi ride to the bus station for our journey to Toledo and points in between. Loaded up two buses for the tour (and one bus crapped out in the driveway). Now imagine loading two bus fulls of luggage and people into one bus for an all day ride?

Traveled to a mountain top castle built in the 1400's by the Knights Templar and then on to Toledo.

Had an interesting day meandering thru the maze of narrow cobble stone lined streets (with the careening cars always up close and personal) viewing the magnificent scenery, bountiful shops, and experiencing the culture first-hand)(Oh yeah, got asked to leave the Greco art museum...as best can tell, us redneck rubes were unwittingly taking the tour bass-ackwards and screwing up the pedestrian flow?)

Traveled to Madrid and found the hotel room A/C was "muy poco" as well...bar-b-qued the first night, but managed to "habla" enough to get it fixed for the rest of the stay? Walked thru the Prado Museum and saw enough oil paint smeared on canvas to paint Grandaddy's barn 40 times over? Saw more castles, cathedrals, and statues than a soul can imagine...and chowed down on some truly unusual grub?

Last day in Europe started with a 70 Euro ($105) cab ride to the airport. Made a short hop to London Heathrow airport where yours truly was "profiled" by security and had a long interview with a local gendarme about my terrorist tendencies (as a cop for four decades???). Then followed another ten hour flight to Dallas with a short hop to Austin.

Got back to the ranch (after a 24 hour journey) to find that the battery on the ranch gate opener had died and the gate would not open?????

Ain't "vacations" fun?