Deer Loafin'

The ranch hand has engaged in deer hunting for nigh on 40 years.

Deer "hunting", or more aptly named deer "working", involves a myriad of laborious activities.

First ya gotta walk all over creation in the woods and find a suitable place to ambush the suckers. Next ya have to haul to that place, or construct on site, a "hiding" spot for military observation of the varmits. Then comes the brush/limb cutting for creation of "shooting lanes", as well as the interminable ritual of filling one's corn feeder with "bait".

The weather is a whole other subject in deer "hunting". Ya got your garden variety cold, and then there is the mind numbing, butt freezing, "why am I here" cold. Yep, rain, insects, snakes, skunks...you name it, deer "hunting" is a male rodeo on many levels.

Fortunately, the ole fat boy's testosterone has diminished sufficiently in dotage for "ego" to allow deer "LOAFIN".

That's right sports fans. We are talking being in the heated sun room, laid back in the recliner, chosen beverage at hand, TV remote nearby, and the always necessary bathroom but a step away. Hell, ya can sneeze, cough, fart, and generally wiggle around as the innocent woodland creatures have no clue that Ruger 7mm-08 death waits behind the windows of the loafin' room.

Course the pretty days still find the chubby one sitting outside for the hunt, but old age and treachery have finally overcome masculine dumass (to a small degree?).