Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Barbers And Other Butchers

The ranch hand started out in the booming East Texas metropolis of Wright City. WC was "ironically" named because it was far from a city. More like a wide place in the road in between real towns.

Course, WC folks did have some amenities. There was Uncle Reggie's Sinclair gasoline station, an oil field pipe yard, a "cafe" with coffee, a miniscule menu, and a pinball machine.....and a barber shop.

Daddy Gene...bein' Gene...often decided to take his yonker to Grandaddy's, sit his skinny butt on the wooden stool on the back porch, and use Granvil's hand operated shears on his progeny's youthful locks.....ALWAYS ending in a "burr" cut to "fix" the damage????

The WC barber shop would have been more aptly named the "butcher shop". The proprietor had a tiny one room tin structure that housed the oldest barber chair on earth and a four drawer metal filing cabinet. On top of the cabinet resided a few semi-clean, tarnished barberin' tools. In the top drawer, the most important "ingredient" in the shop lurked in liquid anticipation (seems brother WC barber had a bit of an alcohol dependency?)

How-some-ever, his "cut" was a mere 50 cents and so Daddy Gene would on occasion give his onliest son a silver "big nickel" and send him down the road to his ultimate humiliation to "have his ears lowered"???

That coiffure cowlick entrepreneur would then light in to 'a half cuttin'...half pullin' your humble scribes follicles in a manner befitting of Hitler's henchmen. The only savin' grace (momentary break) was that a few times during the "sacrifice ritual", that feller's hands would start shakin' so bad that he would pull open that top drawer and take a long pull on his precious Old Crow whiskey bottle....for his "nerves"????

And the "walk of shame" back to the house would start... with the WC fur-ball head hopin' no one would notice the "hack job"???

Well sports fans....things always seem to come full circle. This morn the ole fat boy rolled into G-town for his "ear lowering" ritual. Despite being gray-headed and "thinning", your retiree stated perkily to the barber/serial murderer, "A close trim please, Sir".

Dammit....that drunk bastard in WC done a better job?????

(Now hopin' no deputies come thru the country lookin' for escaped convicts cause this "hairdo/don't" IS feloniously criminal!!!!!!!!!)

3 comments:

glnroz said...

I aint had a decent haircut since Kathy Greer Griffin retired and moved off from here...

Unknown said...

We expect a photo to accompany this sort of post!

TSRH said...

Eva...thought about a photo, but was worried bout "skeerin" little kids with my ugly mug???