BE HAPPY

"Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage.
Ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool.
Ya can't change film with a kid on your back.
Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car.
But you can be happy if you've a mind to."
(Roger Miller, 1966)

Beggin' the bard's pardon, but ole Roger shoulda added a verse to the above along the lines of, "Ya damn sure shouldn't wear spandex while cross-country bike riding if ya look like a 200 pound sausage in a 100 pound casing."

The ranch hand was toodlin' up to the front gate this early morn to snatch the newspaper when he heard a cheerful, "Hi". Glancing up, your innocent scribe near popped his eyeballs out on stems at the sight of a middle age female perched on one them skinny tire bicycles. That bodacious puppy was wearing spandex that looked like it started bout the size of a handkerchief afore she s-t-r-e-c-h-e-d over her hide. There was bunched up rolls of rolls on top of rolls in a manner that defies description.

This ole fat boy near had to clamp his hand over his mouth to not exclaim, "Damn lady, it's a wonder the fashion police don't charge you with a felony???"

But....she can be happy if she's a mind to.......

Rest in peace Roger.