Fidouche

Courage is a tenuous thing.

Most folks want to believe they have the capacity to exhibit moral fortitude as required, but the real deal don't manifest itself til the excrement hits the oscillator in real life.

Which brings the ranch hand to his dawg. El fido would not be your normal country reared, junk yard, testosterone variety of mutt. He mostly is shy, he is not intrusive other than wanting constant assurance of acceptance and human affection, and he don't bark with an excess of enthusiasm or frequency; until today.

Your humble scribe parked at the ranch house following his nominal "tour of duty" on the town job and promptly heard the resident canine "alpha" barking like the Apocalypse reincarnated at the rear of the casa?

Wasn't nuthin to do but "investigate" and yours truly found the following forensic scene:

1. Sir fido was "ears back", "tail down" an barkin' like the devil his-self was crawlin' up his rear? No amount of "sic 'em" or "come here" was productive in the least?

2. A wild-ass feral cat was sittin" on the back porch in front of mr. macho's dawg house. Yelling at that dumass cat fearin' cretin was like telling a teenager to stop "texting" at the dinner table.

3. Ever time the feline quivered/flinched, the dawg near bout pooped with fear????

4. The conquering hero (tom-cat) eventually got bored and "vacated"?????

5. The fragile "ego" of fidouche may be forever splintered by the encountered?

Lessons learned:

1. Dawgs are the same as men; neither one understands why anyone could ever justify the existence of cats?

2. A dawg's mother-in- law will never visit you (OK, that is manufactured bull shit, but the ole fat boy likes the conceptual question?)

3. Ya call (or yell) at a cat, they are instantly deaf; call a dawg's name (hell, any name) and your dawg will act like he heard the angels sing (unless the idiot is steroidally focused on a barnyard mouser)?

4. Canine varmits obviously "practice" acting excited when ya git home, but ya instantly know the hysterical barking gig is less than heartfelt when ya hear the same lines YELLED in fear?

5. It's a cinch that if dawgs could talk it would take all the fun out of owning one!