Solid Gold

The television experience of my youth included a small black and white set which only received channel 7 (Tyler). Imagine the time saved not channel hopping or arguing over what program to watch? Hell, we didn't even have to think since the network moguls decided our visual/auditory fare in their media vacuum.

Weather, sun spots or whatever would sometimes add some blur or "snow" to our video. That required the high tech solution of going outside to the aluminum TV pole that held up the TV reception wire. The pole was mounted beside the house in such a way that your could put a pipe wrench on it and turn it left or right to try to maximize the TV signal from Tyler. Someone inside the house would yell, "worse" or "better" depending on how the rotation changed the TV picture.

Best I remember, the TV station "signed off" and stopped broadcasting around midnight. It would then crank back off around 5A or 6A the next morning?

No DVDs, no surround-sound, not nothin'. Just pure unadulterated escape from the day to day humdrum of life in Wright City.

Now to the point of this historical drivel:

Me and the bride went TV shopping at Walmart this fine day. I'm here to tell you that you can actually drown in the amount of "stuff" them salesmen throw at ya? You got your pixels, plasma, panel, LCD, HD, Hz, Tivo, and DVR. The suckas chunked crap at me like aspect ratio, response time, spectral contrast engine, ASV, viewing angles, HDMI, and V chip??? And least I forget, some are Energy Star rated and have an AQUOS link (and may the Lord forgive you if you choose a 790 over a 1080).

Then when I was sufficiently bedazzled with the lingo, they sadistically pointed out that I would need to choose a flush, angle, or swivel mount and acquire appropriate cat 5.

They might as well have been talking Chinese to me because I don't know what one single thing I just mentioned refers to?

I think I'm gonna just decide which one had the most "purty" picture, which fits my pocketbook, and just take that puppy to the ranch for better or worse. If it will show black and white reruns of Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, and Bonanza, it will be solid gold in my book.

(and now I'm getting headache as I just realized I have to wade off in the satellite TV jungle as we don't have cable access at the ranch - CRAP!)