SAPS

Trust me, this could have happened or may happen in the future.....????

Seems Carolyn was cruising (with dirt, dust and rocks flying) on her turbo charged riding mower on the back forty one fine Tijeras day. The weather was beautiful and C was in her finest Indy form with custom leather racing gloves, polarized goggles and a "I (heart) Walmart" cap.

As she passed the garden plot, a brown furry missile shot from under a squash plant and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of her. This was her chance!!!!!!

At long last she could exact long sought revenge for the rodent's purloining of garden delights. She tightened her grip on the wheel, jammed down the throttle and launched the whirling blades of death forward.....until the beady eyed varmit emitted a primal scream, leaped into the air, and landed squarely in the middle of our illustrious fighter pilot jockey.

Sports fans, that bushy tailed demon set about settlin' the score with a pain inflicted notch for each .22 bullet tallied to date in the harvest of furred garden raider brothers. The like of snarling, hissing, and attack had never been seen before as clothes, skin, and expletives flew thru the air like a drunken flock of lost geese? (That little tornado was doing some damage!!!!)

Never one to surrender easily, the Allstate flash knew that speed was an ally. She pushed that Sears antique to full throttle and set across the landscape with the wheels only hitting the ground about every ten feet (the way she normally mows the grass). Holding the evil mutant squirrel of death by the tail while whirling it over her head she.....hit a stump at max travel and nosed plowed into the ground.

This unceremonious cessation set her Nazi menace tormentor (who was now wearing the gloves and eyeballing her goggles) to uncontrolled giggling.

Fortunately for our heroine, it was at that moment the green chili stew scraps the fuzzy gargoyle had eaten from the Camino del Arriba trash kicked in for his minuscule digestive system.

Yep, gastrointestinal elimination of epic proportion both caused the untimely demise of this woodland creature, and gave impetus to the SQUIRREL ATTACK PREVENTION SOCIETY (SAPS).

And now my loyal reader knows how Carolyn managed to leave such a profound legacy for all to admire!!!!!!!!