LADDER LESSONS

Chain saws and ladders don't mix. Even if I am about a taco shy of a combination plate, there ain't no doubt in my feeble brain about that one.

Bout three years ago I got the genius idea of climbing to the top step of my 6 foot step ladder to cut some tree limbs. That went like a charm until a falling limb knocked me off the ladder and sent the chain saw spinning.

Not being the brightest crayon in the box, bout 6 months later I climbed up on that dang widow-maker again with the killer saw. This time the limb hit the ground, bounced, and flipped the ladder out from under me. In a nanosecond, I fell on the ladder with my head between a stump and the running saw. My hip was bruised from can to cain't and some hide was missing, but otherwise I was intact.

Wasn't but one thing to do. Ole dumbutt rolled up on his knees and started talking to the Lord along the lines of, "I get it now, you won't have to 'splain this again." I made God a heartfelt, solemn promise that never again in my life would I get on a ladder with a chainsaw (and I have kept that vow).

Today I started down another path with the purchase of a gasoline powered pole saw ($617). It's a chain saw motor attached to a long pole with the bar and cutting chain out on the end. I cranked that puppy up at the ranch and in 30 minutes had more limbs on the ground than a show dog could jump over. After two hours on the business end of that bad boy, I felt like I had been eaten by a bear and crapped off a tall cliff (shouldn't a feller be at least 10% smarter than the machinery he's runnin'?).

Somehow I'm wondering if the good Lord is teaching me another "ladder" lesson? If so, I hope I ain't as dense as the last time and I figger this one out a lot sooner?