Freddy Krueger

In 1879, the first commercial electric station opened in California. Fifty years later, however, much of the Texas Hill Country remained without electric service. Providing electricity to rural farms, ranches, and outhouses was simply not profitable for suppliers (think rich folks?).

Lyndon B. Johnson, a 28-year-old Congressman and future hound dawg ear puller, brought the region hope. Johnson lobbied the Roosevelt administration for funding and fought its population requirements. Thus was born the Pedernales Electric Cooperative in Johnson City, about 50 miles west of the Tin Star Ranch.

The Cooperative, organized in 1938, presently serves its 200,000 member/owners and encompasses area of 8,100 square miles (including 15 acres of yours truly's Heaven near Gabriel Mills).

In 2004, your humble ranch hand became a member of the PEC in order to have power to the barn. For the princely sum of $17 per month (automatic yearly average checking account deduct) there was light in the manger, "cool" in the beer fridge, and "juice" for the Montgomery Wards cracker box welding machine.

After near four years of planning, your humble scribe fulfilled a long sought dream and moved into the rustic ranch headquarters to live a live of peace, luxury (country style), and relaxation.

Today the peace/relaxation part got swift butt kick from the ever impressive "technology" of mother USA (roll in your grave LBJ).

Big Brother PEC called to say that something "out of the ordinary" occurred about three months ago. Seems my monthly "light bill" (Dad's term) had jumped from $17 per month to an average of $147 per month and I was arrears in on the averaged deduct of more than $400.

No problemo kemo sabe. I moved into the new ranch headquarters and added that utility consumption to the meager needs of the barn. Just recalculate, re-average, and re-deduct per month til the cows come home.

\.....and the techno BS begins again like Freddy Krueger in the 308th episode??????

"Sir, the COMPUTER will not allow us to re-average your monthly deduct until you pay the pending escrow balance."

Super! Add the bill, tell me the total, allow me the privilege of getting even and let's recalculate the monthly average deduct.

Not so fast old fat one (I know that was what Elisabeth -sounded like 15 years old- was thinking). "You have to pay the pending amount due thru June 11th and then pay the remainder on July 11th and then thereafter, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"

Wonderful. I'll do whatever you just said and throw in 15% for a tip. Just set this up so that I pay the correct amount per month and you don't whack me up the side of the head at the end of the year because I didn't pay enough during the year.

"Sir, are you listening Sir?" " The (damnable) COMPUTER will not allow me to do what you are asking. The "program" will only allow a max charge of $64 per month and you will have to call us back in March 2010 and "renegotiate" (after catching up on the fricking escrow backlog thing again????????).

OK, enough blabbering.

Am I STOOPID, or has the COMPUTER age completely drained the brains from every human left on earth?

Damn, either I'm getting crotchety in my dotage, or the world is plumb eat up with DUMASS?