Thinkin' bout selling your house? Think again cause it ain't all picnic.
First off, ya gotta "de-personalize" that puppy. Yeah, take them grand baby pics and kraft paper with their hand prints off the fridge. Take them photos of EVERYONE down from EVERYWHERE like ya don't have nobody and don't know nobody.
Next, start cleaning the casa like you is guardin' agin the plague. Scrub everything you can eyeball. Hard for an ole fat boy to do initially, DAMN HARD TO KEEP THAT WAY EVER DAY!
Now for the good part. Git your humble abode in the better shape than it has ever been since before you moved in and then listen to A-holes poor mouth it in their attempt to talk down the asking price. This would be a lesson in the Lord's own patience.
It ain't a purty picture and it ain't what I would call peace and tranquility.
However, GLORY HALLELUJAH, we now officially have a legal contract to sell our shack and guess who is most happy about that? I'm thinking I will quit making the fricken bed till hell freezes over, cook some kind of splattery greasy stuff on the cooktop, and let dust bunnies run amok throughout?
All yall pray cause now the ranch hand gotta move this accumulation of memorabilia, treasures, antiques, relics, and just plain shi* to the new house (and my back is already filing a formal protest with the "labor union"?)
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