ROAD CHICKEN

In 1968, I graduated high school at about 155 pounds, By 1969, I had ballooned to 190 pounds of blubber.

Come February 1970, I started Highway Patrol School (also known as Marine Corp boot camp on steroids) and by the conclusion of that curricula, had lost down to a hard 160 pounds of fighting machine.

Over the next ten years, I managed to scarf down enough gravy and mash pertaters to get back to a round mound of obesity and once again snuck up on 190 pounds.

Near the end of June 1980 (at age 30), I was assigned to be the Platoon Sergeant for a Highway Patrol School in Austin. I resolved that I would "lead" the class of recruits in all things, including physical training.

In addition to close analysis of my dietary regimen, I chose a tortuous three mile route that circled from my house and vowed that every time I "ran" the circuit, I would improve my time. I started out running a short distance and walking the remainder. I finally was able to run the entire route, but more like a road tortoise than a road chicken (chaparral)

I don't remember, my final time for the three miles, but I kept my promise to ME to run faster every time and I lost down to 160 pounds of gazelle-like fleetness.

Every night, I also laid in the floor of my living room and did sit-ups and pushups until I was a quivering mass of muscle cramps.

When the Highway Patrol class started, I led the exercise warm ups at 5AM every morning. On our best day, we did 1,000 sit-ups with no rest break (all the way up and all the way down). At 30, the young Trooperettes thought of me as an ancient. Imagine their amazement that I could work 'em down in the exercising regimen.

After about 30 minutes of non-stop exercising, we always ran a 1 1/2 mile course. I let everyone start ahead of me each morning. The deal was that everyone I beat had to run the course again. When we started, I beat about 3/4 of them. By the end of the school, the kids would take off ahead of me, and I would not see them again until I crossed the finish line (back to the road tortoise category).

I left my Platoon Sergeant gig as once again, lean and mean.

Now comes 28 years later, and DAMMIT, my bathroom scale said 190 pounds this morn.

OK, don't even think any running is going to happen (and dang few jumpin' jacks). However, I promise ME once again that I am going to get rid of this "gut" and get as close to that 160 again as I can.

PRAY FOR ME CAUSE I'M GONNA NEED THE HELP.